25 Bold (stupid) Predictions

With the season about to kick off next week, I thought I'd share my first list of the seasons. I've labelled it, "Bold Predictions" but you could label is stupid, ridiculous, random, irrelevant or any number of other things. So let's get started:

1 - There won't be any ringers at the tournament this year. (ha...ha ha...ha)

2 - A team ranked 100 or higher from last year, will make the tournament this year.

3 - Alex Rodriguez will hit at least one home run without needing to stick a needle in his ass.

4 - DGS will win the tournament (ok, not THAT outrageous).

5 - The Dude will hit the under on his Smack Board posts at 11,000.

6 - The Game of the Week voting numbers will be higher than the voting on The Voice.

7 - My blog will add one new follower (riiiiiighhht).

8 - The Nationals will go to the playoffs - wait a minute...

9 - More than 3 teams will keep track of their stats (right now you're all curious who the 3 are).

Right about now you've stopped reading, or you're about to ask yourself why you're still reading, but if you had stopped reading before now, you'd miss this little nugget about how the other day, I was walking down the street and I found a penny, it was a 1992 penny, yep, 20 years ago. I'm not sure what makes me older, that I remember that year distinctly, or that I still think a penny has some value and stopped to pick one up.

10 - Anyone reading this entry has now stopped reading this entry.

11 - RPIologist will finish last in tournament predictions.

12 - The Liberty Square Sliders won't make the Sweet 16 (I almost couldn't type that).

13 - It will be revealed that Potomac Fever has bugged the opposing teams dugouts during last years tournament, and was able to notify their defense every time a male or a female was up to bat.

14 - Jose Canseco will announce that he's agreed to play for an unnamed USHSL team, unnamed because the team hasn't agreed to have Jose Canseco play for them.

15 - Jose Canseco will be banned from the USHSL for just being creepy.

16 - At least one of ABC, CBS or NBC will air a TV show that's actually worth watching.

17 - No games will be rained out all year.

18 - The Congressional League will have a higher rating on the Fun-Meter than the House League (baahahahahaha).

19 - A bill will be passed by both chambers of Congress.

20 - This list will only be 20 long because I ran out of things to say. Later.

We're Baaack!!!

You know what I realized last week, on Monday April 2nd to be exact? NEVER USE YOUR PERSONAL EMAIL FOR SCHEDULING. Sorry readers (all 1.5 of you) that it's taken me this long to enter my first post of the year (I know, you were waiting on the edge of your seat). I've spent the last 9 days deleting 763,000 scheduling emails, oh, and my team still has dates to schedule, nonsense.

So just what kind of an offseason has it been? Weeeellll, from what I understand, Tom Brady can't beat Eli Manning, Newt Gingrich still has not actual voters, Obamacare is currently in the holden-pen in Guatanamo Bay awaiting trial (apparently they didn't close that place down after all), and Tim Tebow is trying to come up with the best way to convince Rex Ryan that he can still accept Jesus into his heart and have a foot fetish at the same time. Yup, it's been busy this winter.

Meanwhile, back on the ranch, the United States House Softball League weathered one of the most tumultuous endings of any season and is about to roar back for what is shaping up to be another great season. I've heard there has been some new additions to the leadership team for the league and that everyone is energized and engaged, good stuff. On the field, we're less than 3 weeks from opening day and while that's great, the league does face one giant hurdle: where's everyone gonna play?

Glad you asked. The National Mall currently looks more like the set of Mad Max than the wonderfully cramped fields that have hosted so many softball games, and there's no sign of it being fixed in time for this season. In fact, rumor has it there will be a curb added around the grassy area where teams once played (I'd like to meet the genius who thought that one up). On top of that, at some point this season it's expected that Anacostia will be dug up, effectively crippling the two largest squatting rights chunks of land in the greater DC area. With that in mind, DC kindly offered up their usual fields at rates ranging from $500-$1500, and the Feds cut back on the fields they offered up. I've heard that Ohio Drive will be a squatters, first come first serve set of fields, but that's only because there's supposed to be construction down there too at some point. Seriously, who in DC thought they needed to "doll" the place up? We liked it just fine how it was. So, if you get in a bind, grab a tennis ball, some sneakers and go find a nice big parking lot for stick ball, that's about the only option you'll have.

OK, that's enough candy and sunshine from me for now, I'll circle back around when the season is about to kick off and offer up my predictions for the year (I know, back on the edge of your seat).